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Breaking the Silence

Just when I thought I've said so much, in fact I've barely scratched the surface. One thing I feel burdened to speak about when it comes to the issue of abortion is the silenced. And by "the silenced," I mean the Church.

​For the longest time, I was that "Pro-Choice Christian." I sat in the pews, took communion, volunteered in activities; but, don't you dare mess with my sacred cow...choice. As I reflect on those years, I realize that the Church never really talked about "it" other than to say it was "bad." I already knew that, but "it" wasn't my business what other people did; and mine was so yesterday's news it was inconsequential. As such, I was free to go about my day-to-day life.

Mind you, ​I wasn't vocal about the fact that I was pro-choice. You would never have heard me say to anyone, 
"Hey! Do you need a ride to the abortion clinic?" However, what you did hear was, "I wouldn't do it [again], but I won't get in the way of someone else's choice." or "That's a personal decision between a woman and her doctor." Or the best one, "Who am I to judge?" That, my friends, is the silenced (more like muffled) voice of the Church. All in the name of "cheap grace." It's no wonder we're losing our salt. 

How did I become so comfortably numb? Didn't I confess this sin? What happened? Just then I realized that the culture still had a stronghold, not just on me but, on the church."  
To be fair, I didn't realize any of that until I became pregnant with my first daughter. During my pregnancy I panicked as I had learned from Scripture that sins of the father visit the future generations. As God would have it, He surrounded me with wise counsel and a Christian Counselor walked with me through the Scriptures as we talked about un-confessed sin. We spent much time in prayer; and, as a result, I felt I had overcome this hurdle. Then my daughter was born. I couldn't believe I could love a little human so much that my heart would burst.  

During my second pregnancy I experienced this sort of brain-fog mixed with nausea mixed with yuck. I felt like I would vommit on a daily basis, but I never did. At 11 weeks, I thought I had miscarried. I'll spare you the details, but suffice it to say that it was evident that a loss had in fact occurred. While at the hospital waiting for the doctor, the staff takes me to get an ultrasound so that I could obtain closure prior. I was ASTOUNDED! There on the screen in front of us was my little girl, dancing and leaping with joy! My emotions were all over the place. One thing is for sure, I began to wrestle with the silence.

I found myself face-to-face with my child at 11 weeks. Elated that she - not it, not a glob of tissue - but that my baby, a little person, was ALIVE and I would meet her soon. It was at this same age of development, just 19 years prior, that I took the life of my other child; you know the one I referred to as "choice;" the one society had convinced me was just a "glob of tissue." For the first time that realization weighed heavy on my heart. How had I become so comfortably numb? Didn't I confess this sin? What happened? Just then I realized that the culture still had a stronghold not just on me, but on the church. I had been sitting in the pews of denial along with all my other brethren…silenced.

After losing one of my babies and coming face-to-face with LIFE in the womb, something changed. I had no idea what it was, but I knew parts of me were awakened. During this time, I did do one thing right, I prayed dangerous prayers. I think God loves it when we struggle and ask those questions that we're so afraid to ask. Only then can He take us on the journey we've been reluctant to take. God really shows off when we pray those kind of prayers! 

For the longest time I (erroneously) thought that Christians had to have it all together and I went from being in bondage to my sin to being in bondage to looking good so that I would be accepted."
​As I mentioned, something had awakened in me. I went from a trivial shrug of admission that what I did was wrong, to repenting for the sin of abortion.

My lack of confession and subsequent lack of repentance regarding my abortion had prevented from being free and the end result was my silence. There is a difference between admitting you are wrong and confessing for the crime. It's the difference between being silenced and being free.

My silence reminded me of Rachel (Gen 31).  She had stolen the household idols of Laban and when her father entered her tent to search for them, with all the decorum she could muster she told him she couldn't stand because "the manner of woman was upon her (she was on her period)."  I, too, "sat on my idols," so to speak, and they went with me 
everywhere. I denied their existence; hence, the pews of denial reference. But these idols held me captive; not even a veneer of good deeds could put my mind at ease.  I had not realized that until I was face-to-face with my child in the womb.


I (erroneously) thought that Christians had to have it all together and far be it from me to stick out as one that didn't. I went from being in bondage to my sin to being in bondage to “looking good” so that I would be accepted. I am eager to report that I am free from both.

The Silenced

I grew up in your standard Catholic Hispanic household. My mother, being disenchanted with the the Church, left it for a cult that promised to not only teach but also research the Bible so that you would know without a shadow of a doubt that you were finally free in Christ...or so they said. Among the many errors that I was taught in the name of "research and teaching" was that a child wasn't alive until it took its first breath at childbirth. In the meanwhile, when I would travel to visit my grandparents in Puerto Rico, my grandmother, short of dunking me in the baptismal font, would work diligently to catechize me in the doctrines of the Catholic Church. I made it through three sacraments, but that didn't stop me from having an abortion at the age of 17.

It should have come as little surprise to anyone that the culture was the most successful influence on my thinking. Descartes' would be proud because as a result of my "research" I had fashioned a god after my own thinking. I regarded all things of a religious nature to be oppressive and I was eager to be free of them. I wasn't an atheist; I couldn't even pass for a good agnostic. At best I was apathetic. I found myself in the throws of the modern culture trying to be a "good girl," but when your compass points to all things you, it's a recipe for disaster.

Let's fast forward through years of bad choices. I was at a crossroads and before I could make the commitment to atheism I had to, as Nietzsche put it in The Parable of a Mad Man, 'kill god' in order to legitimately move on with my life. God is not mocked - especially not by a self-professed intellectual like myself. During the process of ridding myself of all things religious, I realized I didn't have enough faith to be an atheist. I surrendered; but more importantly, I repented.

Soon after I surrendered all, I remember sharing my story with a Christian girl I worked with. The very next day she requested to change departments; she wouldn't even look at me. I remember thinking, THIS is what you saved me from and to?!? Really?!? I was wounded by her rejection, but I knew I couldn't turn back to who I used to be. It muffled (shamed) me into a corner. I decided to keep  myself looking and smelling good just so I could stay "in community." God had wiped me clean, but His followers had decided I wasn't "clean enough." The end result: I went from apathy to sitting in the pews of denial with the rest of my brethren.

It would take me several years to realize that I wasn't the only one that had been "silenced." No matter what people had said, when a person like me openly lamented their sin, the people couldn't handle it. They would immediately rush to judgement and/or the internal comparison game of "Whoa! She was bad!"

Eventually 
God called me to share, but I would only do so in one-on-one situations. A couple more years later, a pastor I deeply respect told me it was time for me to share my story to a wider audience. He carved time out of his hectic schedule to minister to my heart and my fears, letting me know that it was no longer "my story," it belonged to God and I needed to be available to how God would use me. Shaking and trembling, I spoke at his church. I thought that was it and I could now go back to my "hobbit hole," but God said, "Not so fast."

The next step was to "formally" equip me. I trained with "spiritual giants" and I was in awe of their kindness. They loved me with the Truth and I was able to connect the dots of my past to the present. God has proceeded to place me in situations where I would be asked to speak. I speak, even when my  voice shakes; and trust me, it shakes.

My calling is to love people with the Truth of God's Word in a winsome manner; to remain steadfast in His love; and pray for God to do His work in both my life and that of the brethren. As I survey the landscape of the Church, I hear the silence, LOUD and CLEAR. I see more clearly than ever those who have been muffled into a corner and those whose busyness is their idol. I see people who forgot, or even worse, never learned how to lament. The end result is a weak Church with either pointy fingers or bleeding hearts because they fear the rejection of the crowds. Maybe it's both. I've lived it. I get it. I am free. I am no longer silenced.